Throw Out Your List

Do you have a list of what you think defines the perfect partner? Have you listed all the qualities you want or expect in one single person?

And, are you still waiting for that person to walk magically into your life?

I used to have a list. It said, that the person should believe what I believe (because I’m always right!), understand me completely (I’m an artist!), not be into extreme sports (too dangerous!), raise my child how I think he or she should be raised…

Blah, blah, blah…


If you have such a list, you need to throw it out right now, because you will probably never find someone who is all those things.

If you have such a list, then what you are, in effect, saying, is that you think you have certain “standards” that someone else should meet. You are insinuating that unless they meet those conditions, they aren’t good enough for you.

You are limiting your love!

We are all human, we all have our shortcomings, and what relationships actually do, is bring out the best, as well as the worst in us. When you are finally with somebody 24-7, all those things become clearer, and you start seeing a reflection of yourself in the other person.

And it’s not always as pretty as you think. You’re not as ideal as you thought you were.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards. Just don’t limit yourself. Don’t think of yourself as so much better than everyone else who “doesn’t deserve you”.

Because when you break your own rules and cross your own borders, you allow yourself that opportunity to discover what you never knew existed, and you never thought possible.

And, cliché as it sounds, when you give love a chance to happen, it will.

P.S. I’m so glad I didn’t get my list, because life is so much more exciting now.


(Remember this?)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails … 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (NIV)


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