We’ve been offline for a week: Drove through 4 countries in one day, wandered through legendary castles, forests and sped through heart-stopping autobahns…celebrated the great-grandfather’s 87th, visited a UNESCO Heritage City, hunted for Steinpilz and ate half a roasted duck, got hooked on Leberknödelsüppe, had our very own Oktoberfest with an accordion player. Drank even more.
Taught my kids that seasons change, and so does the view in different countries, the cultures, the schnapps, the language, the weather—but never the need to say thank-you.
We passed over the Alpine range twice and stopped to smell the bright yellow flowers at the top.
Here, we took a break from the 8 hour drive to enjoy the sunlight atop Splügenpass, the mountain border which divides Italy and Switzerland. Going there was a drive through thick fog and rainy weather.
Truth be told, I was scared to venture on the invisible path which climbed higher into the clouds, but still I trusted my husband’s good driving skills. The return trip a week later was much easier—sunshine and bright green illuminating the now-visible zig-zag path, making it more of a joyride.
In a way, I loved the fact that we were disconnected (from the internet), and free to just enjoy each other. With no social media access, there was no news from other continents, no updates to share, no other lives to compare with, but the joy of our own special moments, and our fun-loving kids.
In the car, of course the husband and I bickered (8 hours a day is a long way to drive!)…but we also made up, played Who Am I games, read novels (me reading aloud because it was less scary to look down at the book than through the windshield while racing down the autobahn…) and listened to really corny music on the radio.
And the truth about long-distance road trips with family is that they do test your parenting patience, your marriage, your endurance and tolerance. They leave you with those rugged memories of both adventures and misadventures.
Travel is EXHAUSTING when you’re a mom—but I am grateful for the chance to show my kids that the world expands, and home is where the LOVE is—wherever we may camp.
In this village, they say that when the Leone mountain across us wears a grey cap—when the clouds sit low on its peak gathered like a hat—it means we will have rain tomorrow.
Apparently, it’s true.
Last weekend, on Saturday afternoon, even though the skies were bright blue, the mountain, our ever-present and glorious background, wore a cap.
The husband and I watched silvery flat clouds shifting around its head, gathering into a perfect hat shape—not hovering like a halo, but softly settling on its crown. The son peered out with his binoculars from the hillside Bellavista restaurant terrace in Vercana where we’d gone for pizza and house wine.
“Yep, bad weather tomorrow,” we both concluded, in-between the daughter’s incessant babbles.
We clinked our glasses and drank away the afternoon, because that is what you do here on a weekend after 2pm—whether sun or rain.
So the following day, despite the rains, we headed to Chiavenna, just 16 kilometers away.
The old town cultural center, still preserved, winded the way typical Italian towns do, with their renovated cobblestone streets, semi-uncluttered gutters and olive-green shutters decked with rose-red flower pots.
Swiss and German tourists huddled under umbrellas, checking out the Saldi signs, but all was closed during siesta hours.
“It just can’t be SUN-day,” said my son aloud, “there’s only RAIN today!”
And he said this with an air of excitement. It was still a lot of fun to wear bright rubber boots and splash around.
But it was Sunday, and also siesta, for that matter, which meant I and my wallet would not be parting—at least not for three hours.
An aquarelle painting exhibition near the piazza by British artist Kim Sommerschield, was the perfect place to wait out the drizzle.
Beautiful sharp strokes of the familiar mountains in deep blue and sienna, the misty lake and its wildlife splashed in striking hues, and my favorite of the water-colored portraits, a Charlie Chaplain.
Next, we headed for the Palazzo Vertemate Franchi, where the daughter was far too noisy, so I excused her from the tour group and headed out to the hallways to walk amongst scary portraits of middle-aged plump women in way too much jewelry and ruffles.
When it was time for panini and aperitvi, we headed back to the historical center for snack under the now sparkling sun.
The weather here is like that, shifting from one second to the next.
Prosecco for me, succo de mela for Karsten, a birra media for the husband and latte fresco for Alex. (I found I never have to worry about bringing milk on outings, as one can always order it fresh from any bar.)
I also had bresaola, a kind of salty, dried meat from the plush Valtellina region, plated with steinpilz, a delicious wild mushroom, and sharp rucola salad.
Observing my two curious kids splashing in puddles, being fascinated by waterfalls and hidden corners, even the way they sat down on the side of a random street, just to…sit and watch the world go by, reminded me that life is for these tiny, treasured moments.
Did they understand a word the tour guide was saying in the grand palace? No.
Did they care that it was rainy weather and not “suitable” for exploring? Of course not.
Did they whine that, during siesta no stores were open to browse? No, not these kids.
They simply enjoyed what life had to offer them in that moment: lots of muddy puddles, fascinating steep steps and cobblestones, giant door handles fabricated hundreds of years ago…
…and ripples of murky water in an old piazza fountain, reflecting their own mischievous smiles.
Back at home, I continue painting my version of the Montana Leone, the forms I see in it, the colors that inspire…
…the daughter picks up my brush and messes up a corner.
I let her…
No matter that the weather is grey, or how many clouds gather at its peak, that mountain will always be beautiful, and it is the daily view like this that makes me appreciate my own sense of sight.
Every morning, we get to wake up and watch it shift forms, spreading out on the horizon “just like a volcano,” my son always says, excitedly.
We get to see it transform, and at times completely disappear into the fog…but it always returns, to welcome our days, or to say goodnight.
“It’s as if you’ve never seen it before,” my husband remarked yesterday, when I’d had an explodation mark about its current beauty.
But I agree with my Belgian neighbor, Cara, who says, “It’s the most beautiful mountain in the world!”
Life has been good to me. I’ve traveled some pretty fantastic places around the world, wound up in adventurous terrain, been lost in enchanting and exotic locations, and called many of those destinations home.
But the latest has been by far, the best. The most beautiful.
Check out my new living room/terrace view:
To the left, I can see where my husband goes to work, where kitesurfers soar over the waters on windy days. In the center, the glistening lights of a little town across the lake sparkle even more in the evenings, when our living room couch doubles as a bed and we can sit/lie and and sip wine together–how’s that for romance? And to the right, the lake continues on southward, traversing through valleys that lie below a cluster of snow-capped mountains, its waters winding through towns and foothills, rippling silently into the distance.
We are still settling in, figuring out where the kids will go to school, how we will continue life in this tiny town, and attempting to learn the language. But it’s a good start, and a wonderful place to wake up to every morning. We even have a little garden that our tiny gardener has been keeping well-watered.
I thought it was timely that we got the keys to our new house on the same week that I turned 33. The day after my birthday, we moved in, began a new journey as a family. Another chapter closed; a new one begun.
Who knows what the future has in store? Who knows what’s waiting out there? I don’t, just yet.
But I’m excited to find out. Thrilled that, in this beautiful place I’ve been brought to, I find inspiration to paint, being surrounded by my loved ones–my children, my husband, and my friends…even though most of our connections are online these days.
There is beauty everywhere, and I will continue to discover it, though here in Italy one doesn’t have to look very far.
From May till September of this year, my small family lived on Lake Como in Northern Italy, where my husband worked at a water-sports center for the summer season.
The tiny apartment we were blessed to call home for those few months was charming in an old-fashioned way. It was a bright yellow centuries-old flat, on the corner of a narrow cobblestone street, so close to my neighbor’s window that not only could they see our underwear hanging out to dry; we could also hear their every whisper, laugh and (all too often) shouting marital disputes at 3am.
We, like any normal people, wanted to buy a super-fast wifi connection for our temporary home. But in order to do that, we would have to sign a whole year’s lease. Knowing we weren’t going to stay in the country that long, we opted to not have it. (When we finally purchased a plug-in Internet device, it was so slow that it was worse than having none.)
This made for daily trips to the wifi-friendly Bar Pace café across the street, where we sipped creamy cappuccino, ate fresh, fluffy croissants, and checked our emails for half an hour.
Weekends on the lake got a little more active, with parachuters dropping down from the Alpine slopes, kitesurfers plowing through the rippled waters, sailboats in regattas, and dozens of sunbathers enjoying summer.
But most of the time, life in Como was mostly uneventful; night-life was non-existent.
And after those slow-paced months, the realization hit me:
I didn’t miss not having Internet.
I didn’t miss not being “socially” connected.
I didn’t even miss texting!
I had a Twitter account, and a Facebook Page, and even a LinkedIn, yet never felt the urge to check my friends’ updates—never knew what was going on in half a thousand other people’s lives.
Here’s what I did do:
Ate chocolate gelato every day
Swam every day with my son
Read more books
Saw more sunsets
Did a lot of people-watching
Did a lot of listening
Went running every morning
Used my telephone only to book occasional dinners at restaurants, doctor appointments, and reach my husband
Drank lots of prosecco and vino rosso with girlfriends, without distractions
Read more stories to my son
Fed swans and ducks every day
Watched Futurama episodes as a family on our laptop, every night
Learned a little Italian (“Bambini! Attentione! Macchina!”)
Got off my butt to exercise and lost 16 lbs
For those few months, I also did more dishes, laundry and house chores than I’ve ever done in my short history of being married and being a mom. It was exhausting, since I also spent every moment with my son.
I spent every moment with my son.
And my husband, when he came home from work, did, too.
Today, I’m reminding myself of what life was like without an Internet connection there in Italy, because in a day or so, my world will change.
I’m buying a Smartphone.
Because of new changes, lifestyle moves, new work, travel and just plain Real Life, I’m getting back to being universally connected. I don’t want to be unrealistic about new business start-ups, career and family, and it’s essential that I strive for a balance (Main point: STRIVE.).
Yes, I’ll suddenly be ever-present in the online world, able to see all my updates and send out messages on the fly.
But I don’t ever want to forget the sweet life, the real Dolce Vita.
And that was, dear readers, being ever-present for my son, for my husband, and for myself—without distractions of modern living.
It was being able to hear myself think.
It was being able to hear both of my boys laugh, play, and even snore.
It was being able to silently pray, without static.
I’m making this note today so that maybe, even when Amazon delivers my brand new gadget, I can still find a balance-point–somewhere in-between real life, and the sweet life.
Maybe I can keep in mind what really matters.
If you have helpful tips on parenting while still being realistic about other obligations, work, etc, I’d love to hear from you 🙂
The sun rises a little later on this cool September day. just past 8, I wash up and throw on a pullover, then nip across the street to the local Café, where my daily creamy cappuccino is served—along with free WiFi.
But today, its window shutters are down and the Café is closed, quiet and empty. I hadn’t seen the door sign yesterday, that they would be closed once a week now—now that the busy summer is over.
In Europe, where the change of seasons mean a constant transformation of environment, experiences, moods and weather, I’m reminded how fast time flies, and how little of it I manage to fill.
This year’s summer season on Lake Como was a beautiful one, tucked between the Alpine mountains that tower over its waters. Now, those peaks are tipped with the first snowfall, and while sunbeams down here are still fairly warm, those white caps crown our tiny village, reminding us that an icy winter is coming.
So we have more travel plans next month, and the month after—crossing countries, continents, and resuming new adventures, where summer never sets. We are dictated by the wind. Here, on the tranquil lake, I did mostly house chore duties, looked after my boys, and enjoyed the open space which lent inspiration to paint and create in a different way.
Now, I am looking forward to getting back to work—even if it means the bustle of the city, with its vibrations of people, chaos and crowds. I do miss the stimulation, the nightlife and somehow, a bit of the speed. And so, I welcome the shifting winds.
And, I’ve enjoyed every day here in this magical place—the people I have encountered, the time that passed. It brought me lasting memories, and many gifts. And now, I keep a small, three-inch secret tucked away.
Let me tell you a little more about life here in Como:
We live just a couple steps from the town piazza, behind the local church, the bakery, and Gelateria. Across the street are two café bars, my husband’s work place (watersports school) and a giant, grassy playground with a tennis court, basketball court, trampoline and swimming pool.
The atmosphere here is a typically relaxed one, where people stroll unhurried, and whole families play together—or sometimes with total strangers, and children learn to love Nature. Out on the beachfront, kitesurfers pump up their kites to air out, while parachuters glide down the mountain side’s cool air, the wind powering them just enough for an early morning sail.
It’s a place where locals greet you by name, and always a smile. Unlike Germany (our previous home), where the conversation ends at “Good day”, before walking quickly on one’s way, here they will continue chatting—regardless of long queues at the checkout, schedules, or working hours. You learn to not get impatient, but rather, appreciate the fact that people are taking the time to listen, and converse, and communicate—face to face.
Besides, siesta will come soon, and then it will last at least three hours.
And when you live in Italy, you learn to embrace this laidback style. You sip cappuccino, eat gelato, and have a midday Prosecco—as you please. You take your time. You smile more. You stay up late, and sleep in long hours. You chat long minutes because you bask in the presence of another human being, you share life stories as the sun sets in front of you, and you swim naked in the lake, because water is for nurturing.
After a long day’s work (and yes, sometimes just being a stay-at-home-mom is quite a lot of plain hard work with no paycheck at the end of the month) if you get to kiss your son goodnight and say, “I love you, and when you wake up, we’ll go swimming together at the beach,” that’s something to not take for granted.
So you can manage those disputes that sometimes happen in the shadows of your home; those misunderstandings, the trivialities of life. You can look forward to greeting the next Summer day, because as long as there is someone to share it with, and good health to enjoy it a little bit longer, then life is quite delicious.